A recent Scientific American article found that divorce may be painful initially for children, but that most kids adjust well over time. Researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults. The article concludes that divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly. Taken together, the findings suggest that only a small percentage of young people experience divorce-related problems.

Kids Recover Rapidly

On average, the studies found only very small differences in academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships between children of divorced parents and those from intact families, suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well.

Researchers have consistently found that high levels of parental conflict during and after a divorce are associated with poorer adjustment in children.

Bouncing Back

Even though children of divorce generally do well, a number of factors can reduce the problems they might experience. Children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce process or minimize the child’s exposure to it.

Further, children who live in the custody of at least one well-functioning parent do better than those whose primary parent is doing poorly.

The article further found that although divorce is hard and often extremely painful for children, long-term harm is not inevitable. Most children bounce back and get through this difficult situation with few if any battle scars.

A recent Huffington Post article asked family law attorneys from across the country to share some of the most obvious signs that a couple is likely to divorce. The following were the top 8 indicators that a marriage will not last.

1. They give each other the silent treatment.

“It’s a bad sign if a couple bickers and it results in the silent treatment. Sure, fighting is healthy in a relationship but when it turns from playful to serious on a regular basis — and it ends in stonewalling — that doesn’t bode well for long-term success.

2. Their sex life is lackluster.

“This seems obvious and it is. People can go without sex, but the bottom line is that we are living creatures and sex is a natural desire.

3. They have very little in common.

“While it’s true that opposites attract, don’t assume that the qualities you fell in love with are going to keep a marriage together. For example, if someone is an extrovert and loves going out until the wee morning hours and the other spouse likes a warm bath at 7 p.m. followed by a glass of milk and a good book, there is no way the couple can sustain this lifestyle distance.”

4. Their careers always come before the family.

“It can be a problem when a partner always puts his or her career above everything else, including the relationship. This tends to be true, regardless of the agreement the couple has come to during the marriage. Even the strongest relationships decay over time when one person puts their career aspirations ahead of the relationship.”

5. They have contempt for one another.

“Eye-rolling, belittling and treating each other with disdain are key indicators that a relationship will eventually disintegrate. While spouses don’t have to always see eye-to-eye to have a happy marriage, they do have to respect each other and appreciate their differences, rather than viewing those differences as being signs that the other spouse is stupid or wrong.

6. They don’t respect each other’s love language.

“Knowing your partner’s love language — being aware of how he or she feels appreciated — is crucial for long-term success in marriage. Although spouses may love each other, they may not feel loved if they have different love languages. For instance, if one spouse shows love by doing helpful things or by buying gifts, but the other receives love through verbal affirmations, loving touch or quality time together, the love may not really be received.”

7. They’re not honest about their spending.

“A marriage is a partnership and each person should be accountable to the other for their family’s finances. When the finances are split, it’s easy for both partners to overspend. A couple can keep separate or joint bank accounts, but when there is no transparency on how money is being spent and saved, it’s nearly impossible to set and reach financial goals like buying a home or planning for retirement. It becomes a growing frustration.”

8. They never fight.

“Many spouses tend to avoid awkward situations and problems by either ‘shading the truth’ or ignoring something that has been on their mind. This leads to resentment. This person is your best friend, confidante and lover. You should be able to say anything to them. You should be able to accept one another’s comments without destroying the bonds of matrimony.

To discuss retaining Erik Larson and Diana Larson to represent you in your Texas divorce or other family law matter, contact us at The Larson Law Office at 713-221-9088.